Happy Mother's Day

My mom in 1960 with my older siblings.

This morning we got off to a late start which meant running around like crazy getting lunches made and everyone off to school.  After dropping my last son off, 45 minutes late, I drove home.  I noticed a younger mom bike riding with her two young girls.  The older one was on a bike with training wheels going very slow.  The mom was behind on her bike, the youngest girl in the trailer, patiently walking her bike along so not to run into her daughter.  I thought about the days when my oldest two were little.  

I've been a mom for almost 14 years and while I still have a great deal to learn, I have come to some conclusions.  The grass is often going to look green on the other side, therefore, I need to fertilize the grass I have and bring out it's true beauty. It's a truth I wish I had grasped 14 years ago but like most everything in life, you learn from experience.

When my two oldest were little I remember my mom telling me that these were the best days and to enjoy them.  Honestly, I wanted to smack her and just cry.  I was so overwhelmed, exhausted, and felt like she couldn't possibly be telling me the truth.  It has to get better I often thought.  In 14 years, I have learned that being a mom is hard work no matter what age your children are at.  The challenges of biking along painfully slow versus rushing around getting everyone off to school are different but no doubt challenging.  

When my boys were little I was tired,

my house was often a mess,

and I dreamed of the ease of having older children.  

Now my boys are older and I am tired,

my house is often a mess,

and I look longingly at young moms with their little one in tow and miss those days.  Which is probably how my mom felt watching me with my little ones. 

Motherhood is never easy and the grass can look greener on the other side...

once they are potty trained, 

once they start school, 

once they are old enough to do real chores, 

once they are...gone.    

So how does a mom fertilze the grass around her to bring out it's true beauty and enjoy it?  

1) Prayer  - Prayer is key because wisdom comes from above and the older they get the more wisdom you need.  Also, most days we do not have the strength to face the challenges and need strength from above.

2) Retreat - Scheduling time away is crucial to being a healthy mom.  You need a break from your kids especially when they are younger and the physical demands are higher.

3) Mommy friends - Make sure you have a good support network of other moms both peers and also older moms who can give you the perspective you do not have.  Avoid negative moms whether peers who are judging you or older moms who say stupid things like, "I am so glad I am not at your stage anymore...."  "Friends" like that are not going to help you in this journey.  

My mom with her babies in '57, '58, '67 & '72 (top right is me).

4) Perspective - Children are not adults, they are growing, learning and need an incredible amount of grace.  I cringe when I hear people call children selfish...duh!  It is important to grasp where their little brains are at in development and judge them accordingly.  At certain ages their brains are not even developed enough to grasp anything but their own needs.  Whenever I find myself frustrated with my children I try and read up on brain development.  It is important to understand how they are grasping the world around them.  It doesn't mean I don't teach them and hold them accountable for their actions but to understand how they are grasping life helps me be a more patient, gentle and self-controlled mommy.

I spent this past weekend visiting my mom in Illinois.  She is bed ridden these days and I was thankful to be able to see her on Mother's Day.  I was able to scan in some wonderful pictures from the past, days that are gone but cherished in her heart.