I was reminded recently that it's not about me.
I have this great neighbor, Aimee, who was a HUGE answer to prayer (long & awesome story!) She lives just 5 houses away. We are SO different, yet support each other beautifully. Recently, I walked down to her house in hopes that she would be the encouragement I needed (which she usually is) and that she could pray over me. You see, summers are hard. I don't home-school, so people often assume that summers are hard because my boys are home. However, that is not the reason. I adore summer vacation BECAUSE my boys are home, there is no homework, very little schedule & I feel relatively guilt free about eating ice cream. Yep, I LOVE summer vacation but it still is hard. It's hard because I've reached a point where my heart breaks for what breaks HIS.
We have lived in our house for almost 15 years. In the summer, the inner-city is busy, everyone is out and the good, the bad and the ugly are there for my viewing. My heart breaks for what breaks HIS.
20 years ago I sat in a training meeting of a little ministry that I was volunteering for and I heard a distinct still, small voice say, "Ingrid, you know those kids from unchurched homes? Love them." I believe it was a calling and despite trying to flee (another long story), I've found myself loving them for the past 14 years. We have 15+ kids whom we love, who use to live on our block but have moved away. Thankfully, they are still in the neighborhood, just not on our block. However, in the homes they use to live in, live more kids, new families and summers are hard because I see these kids home and I want to love them SO much! I break over the brokenness I see in their lives. I want to bake cookies, love them and be obedient BUT I can only do so much. I've got those 3 boys of mine home for the summer and I still have the 15+ kids, who use to live on our block, who call me, text me and still come by. Our life is crazy busy and full yet...I long to reach out, to love, to bring a message that can heal the brokenness and because I often can't, summers are hard. I get discouraged.
When I recently went to Aimee, I was struggling and SO in need of encouragement and prayer. I walked in and as soon as she saw me, she cried. She was SO in need of encouragement and prayer. I spent the next hour listening, praying and offering my advice. After I left, I felt better even though I was not the one receiving the "pep talk". As I walked up the alley to my house, I realized that it's not about me. In my life I've found that discouragement can breed selfishness. Don't get me wrong, it is OK to seek encouragement and prayer but that day my mind was SO focused on myself. It's funny that my discouragement about not reaching others, caused me to focus inward. I think that trials in life, times of discouragement, are meant to teach me, help me grow, push me closer to HIM. I didn't need encouragement that day, I needed a reminder that it's not about me, it's about HIM using me for HIS purpose and HIS glory.
I have this great neighbor, Aimee, who was a HUGE answer to prayer (long & awesome story!) She lives just 5 houses away. We are SO different, yet support each other beautifully. Recently, I walked down to her house in hopes that she would be the encouragement I needed (which she usually is) and that she could pray over me. You see, summers are hard. I don't home-school, so people often assume that summers are hard because my boys are home. However, that is not the reason. I adore summer vacation BECAUSE my boys are home, there is no homework, very little schedule & I feel relatively guilt free about eating ice cream. Yep, I LOVE summer vacation but it still is hard. It's hard because I've reached a point where my heart breaks for what breaks HIS.
We have lived in our house for almost 15 years. In the summer, the inner-city is busy, everyone is out and the good, the bad and the ugly are there for my viewing. My heart breaks for what breaks HIS.
20 years ago I sat in a training meeting of a little ministry that I was volunteering for and I heard a distinct still, small voice say, "Ingrid, you know those kids from unchurched homes? Love them." I believe it was a calling and despite trying to flee (another long story), I've found myself loving them for the past 14 years. We have 15+ kids whom we love, who use to live on our block but have moved away. Thankfully, they are still in the neighborhood, just not on our block. However, in the homes they use to live in, live more kids, new families and summers are hard because I see these kids home and I want to love them SO much! I break over the brokenness I see in their lives. I want to bake cookies, love them and be obedient BUT I can only do so much. I've got those 3 boys of mine home for the summer and I still have the 15+ kids, who use to live on our block, who call me, text me and still come by. Our life is crazy busy and full yet...I long to reach out, to love, to bring a message that can heal the brokenness and because I often can't, summers are hard. I get discouraged.
When I recently went to Aimee, I was struggling and SO in need of encouragement and prayer. I walked in and as soon as she saw me, she cried. She was SO in need of encouragement and prayer. I spent the next hour listening, praying and offering my advice. After I left, I felt better even though I was not the one receiving the "pep talk". As I walked up the alley to my house, I realized that it's not about me. In my life I've found that discouragement can breed selfishness. Don't get me wrong, it is OK to seek encouragement and prayer but that day my mind was SO focused on myself. It's funny that my discouragement about not reaching others, caused me to focus inward. I think that trials in life, times of discouragement, are meant to teach me, help me grow, push me closer to HIM. I didn't need encouragement that day, I needed a reminder that it's not about me, it's about HIM using me for HIS purpose and HIS glory.
My dear neighbor/friend/sister-in-HIM and answer to prayer!
Some of my precious neighbor kids. This picture is from the fall of 2007. All of them are taller than me today, it's been amazing to invest in their lives and watch them grow.
Great post and wonderful insight. I love it when God opens our eyes in ways that it so clear to see his hand at work. Blessings to you and your ministry where you live. I remember back in our young marrieds S.s. Class when you and Dan said that you chose where to live quite intentionally and it has been neat to see the results of you living out and extending Jesus love to those all around you. Hopefully we have succeeded as your church family to compliment your efforts. Keep looking up :)
ReplyDeleteAdelle