Learning to Live Well

OK, first off I need to say that as of TODAY, I LOVE Courtney from Women Living Well but there was definitely a time when I did NOT like her, even more, what she had to say.  Here's my story...

About 5 years ago I was reading an online article from a Christian woman's magazine.  As I scrolled through the comments I saw one from "Women Living Well".  It caught my attention and I clicked on the name.  I was brought to a blog with the address of www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com with a header that looked like this...

I looked at Courtney's picture and thought I recognized her, then I read her bio and knew for sure she was the Courtney that walked the campus of Moody Bible Institute from 1993-1997, just like me.  I e-mailed her right away and said, "Hi! Do you remember me?"  We were just acquaintances in college but she remembered me and we quickly filled each other in on the past 10 years.  

I was amazed that she had over 200 followers on her blog.  Despite the fact that I had a blog of my own, started in 2005, I had no clue that people blogged for anything other than keeping their family up to date on their life, that was my reason.  So really WLW was my introduction into the blogging world.  

Over the next few months, I began to read her blog frequently and I quickly became a little frustrated.  Courtney was saying things that I really didn't want to hear.  Things like...

A Godly wife will love and serve her husband.

It doesn't matter what your husband does, you need to serve him.

"My husband loves a hot meal on the table when he gets home and I strive to meet that need."

You see at that time my marriage was struggling, I wasn't happy.  I was overwhelmed with my 3 little boys, didn't enjoy cooking at all, felt like I could never keep up with my house and was really resenting my life as a wife and mom.  I also looked at Courtney as perfect, she LOVED being home, serving her husband and then there was the homeschool thing.  

Over the years, I haven't had the best experience with homeschoolers.  You see not all of them but enough of them projected this "holier than thou" attitude about homeschooling.  The attitude came across as, "you are a bad, ungodly parent if you don't homeschool."  We had chosen to put our children in public school and since I was early enough in my journey as a mom, where my insecurities far outweighed my mommy life experience, I felt judged by all homeschoolers.  Just to clarify, Courtney never said anything negative about NON-homeschoolers but I just assumed, based on my experience, that she carried that attitude.

I had also had a very bad experience in my early years as a mom with a Christian parenting philosophy which I've chosen not to name here in this post.  This philosophy states that obedience is doing what you're told, when you're told...with a good attitude.  Now please don't get me wrong, that is a great ideal to strive for but if expected out of a toddler, you will end up with one messed up young mommy (I know this from experience).  Again, Courtney never stated any of those ideas on her blog but I just assumed that she was one of those parenting types.

Then there came the Rachael Ray Show in which Courtney was featured as the perfect 50's housewife.  I missed the episode on TV but watched it on YouTube.  I honestly felt sick and cried.  I could never be Courtney.  Her standards were too high for me and therefore, I didn't like her!  

After the show I e-mailed her, I was nice about it and just poured my heart out about my struggles and how miserable I was.  It took her several weeks to e-mail me back, she had a VERY full inbox after the show aired.  Her response was so sweet and loving, she basically said, "Don't be me!"  She eventually wrote a blog post about it because of all the feedback she received.  In a nutshell, she said there are principles in the Bible, not exact formulas, for how our marriage should look.  Our lives can look VERY different yet we can both be living out those principles on a daily basis.

As I look around at strong Christian marriages I admire today, I can think of one in particular where the wife has always worked outside the home.  Granted, when their children were little she worked part-time juggling around her husband's schedule.  It has worked well for them because he is very hands-on with their children, does all the laundry and pitches in with the cooking.  For some reason, I always had the idea in my head that being a Christian wife could only mean being home with the kids, being a homemaker.  Courtney was the picture of that ideal.  Since I was SO unhappy at home, I beat myself up and told myself I was a bad mom and wife.  It was ugly!

After Rachael Ray, WLW grew significantly.  Today Courtney has over 75,000 "likes" on her Facebook page and has just published her first book (giveaway details below!!).  It's been amazing to sit back and watch this journey unfold for her.  It took me a couple more years of continuing to read Courtney's daily blog posts, at times NOT liking her (or her words) at ALL.  However, I continued to read and she continued to deliver the same message.

I reached a point, about three years ago, where I faced the fact that my attitude toward my husband, kids, marriage and home was wrong.  I repented and today I am much happier.  My husband has always told me if I wanted to work outside the home, he would fully support that.  Instead of working outside the home, I have chosen to continue doing lay ministry in our neighborhood and volunteering as a sponsorship coordinator for a school in southern Ethiopia (I've got 34 more little friends who need a sponsor, just saying!)  My husband has been an amazing supporter of my efforts.  I've even traveled to Ethiopia twice, with him taking his vacation time to be home with our boys.  I continue to do most of the homemaking and with the change of heart, I am enjoying it SO much more.  I am SO thankful for Courtney's faithful daily writing and her firm stand on principles that aren't well received by many today.  I find that amusing because really it boils down to...

Women want to be loved,

men want to be respected.

I think even Dr. Phil would agree with that truth!!  

Courtney has just published her first book!!  It's called Women Living Well and is full of amazing words of wisdom.  I had the privilege of getting an early copy and just devoured it!  I am SO excited to announce that I am giving away 1 copy.  If you want a chance of winning it, please comment below which will enter your name once in my little hat.  To get your name in twice, just share this blog post and let me know in your comment that you did!

I will announce the winner on October 1st!!  Good luck!