I have been asking people, outside of my church family, to pray specifically that God would give me strength and wisdom in these days. I have felt that strength and wisdom. Yesterday the church staff wanted to make sure that all the kids were told directly by parents instead of all calling each other or more likely texting. That is why we received the 5:30 a.m. call. We bring several teens to church so we had to act as their "guardian" in this situation. It was painful to have to tell them. Especially since 3 of them had heard from Tinu just hours before she died. We offered our home to them yesterday. One had to work, another just chose to stay home and be with his mom and the rest congregated at our home. In the morning there were lots of tears and silence. In the afternoon another parent from church dropped off a couple more kids and by then they all sat laughing and talking. They watched a movie, ate and just enjoyed each other's company. I felt strong for them. I just silently prayed over them, over Tinu's family, over our church staff and the other youth group kids.
Sunday we headed to church with several kids in our van. It was very quiet in the youth room which is not normal :) About 25+ kids and parents from Tinu's school showed up which was very unexpected. Our youth pastor prepared to speak only to our own youth but God was definitely in that room and I continue to pray that he was working on all those hearts. Tinu attended a public school so my guess is that many were not believers. There were lots of tears but words of truth and comfort filled the air. "Tinu is with Jesus...Tinu believed a lie...Satan wants to kill and destory...we cannot believe his lies...there is hope in Jesus". From there we headed down to the church service. Our former senior pastor came back and helped Pastor Matt. Matt was very emotional so I think it was good Pastor King was there to help. Again, I felt God in the sanctuary and heard His words through our staff. Pastor Matt talked about the obvious faith of Tinu. She was a professed believer and she had fruit in her life. He addressed the question in all our minds, "Why? & Where is she now?" I realized that this is the first time I have had to deal with a suicide. I have heard of people but never anyone this close. Pastor Matt talked about Tinu's profession of faith and the fruit in her life. Just recently she had asked our youth pastor to come over and help her witness to a friend from school. In things that were found in her school backpack it was evident she wanted to please God and service Him. Matt talked about God's examples to us of righteous, strong, Godly people who had felt despair to the point of desiring death. Moses in Numbers 11:15 cried out to God and asked for death. Elijah in I Kings 19 cried out to God to take his life. And there is Job who cursed the day of his birth. Matt said what Tinu did was wrong, it was sin and it displeased God but as a believer our sins are forgiven. Even if Tinu didn't have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness God's grace has covered all her sins. She died and immediately went into the presence of God. She suffers no more! The service ended with prayer and lots of tears.
After the service I noticed our youth group siting silently together. There were tears but overall a sense of peace. However, there was lots of loud cries from her school friends. I can't help but wonder if the difference was the lack of hope. The hope that is found in knowing Jesus. Several people from our congregation were able to comfort these girls with hugs and prayer. I saw God working.
It is a mystery to me how God works through all the sins and evil in this world. I take comfort in knowing He does. He is sovereign. I decided to read up on the sovereignty of God. Here is what I read:
In Daniel 4:34-36 God has taken away everything from Nebuchadnezzar.
34 At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.
His dominion is an eternal dominion;
his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
35 All the peoples of the earth
are regarded as nothing.
He does as he pleases
with the powers of heaven
and the peoples of the earth.
No one can hold back his hand
or say to him: "What have you done?"
36 At the same time that my sanity was restored, my honor and splendor were returned to me for the glory of my kingdom. My advisers and nobles sought me out, and I was restored to my throne and became even greater than before. 37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.
Proverb 20:24
24 A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?
Isaiah 14 is a prophecy against the Assryians.
24 The LORD Almighty has sworn,
"Surely, as I have planned, so it will be,
and as I have purposed, so it will stand.
25 I will crush the Assyrian in my land;
on my mountains I will trample him down.
His yoke will be taken from my people,
and his burden removed from their shoulders."
26 This is the plan determined for the whole world;
this is the hand stretched out over all nations.
27 For the LORD Almighty has purposed, and who can thwart him?
His hand is stretched out, and who can turn it back?
Paul addresses this subject in Romans 9.
20But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' " 21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?
I know the days ahead will be hard. There will be many more tears and questions but I am thankful not to be walking this path alone. Thank you for your prayers. PLEASE PLEASE pray for Tinu's family especially her 2 brothers who witnessed an awful thing. She also has 3 older sisters and of course her parents.
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